Finding Peace and Hope for the Holidays

Thu, 29 Nov 2007 16:00:00 GMT

The holiday season has emerged from the mundane redundancy of the past twelve months, ushering in a seemingly magical transformation of the social atmosphere. New colors explode in the dark of night as countless houses across the nation are adorned with festive lights. The excitement of children as they await the arrival of one, Santa Claus, permeates the air. Choruses celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ fill small towns as the local church bell provides the all-too-familiar melodies of Silent Night and Away in a Manger. Celebration is the theme of the season, and real life, with all its blemishes and pains, is brushed away into the dark corners of silence. However, if one chooses to peek into the shadows, he or she will see the harsh realities that exist and are even magnified during the Christmas season. The desired “peace on Earth” is disrupted by intrusive circumstances such as difficult family members, the death of a loved one, financial strain, isolation, and loneliness. To ignore those visited by such unwelcome strangers is to fail in living out the very spirit of this sacred season. This Christmas, be aware that all may not be bright, and that some could actually benefit from the love of the One whose life and birth we joyously celebrate at this time of year. When dealing with others or personally experiencing difficulty, consider the following:

Difficult Family Members: Remember the sobering words of Jesus Christ who said, “But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who abuse you…If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them” (Luke 6:27, 32). Seek to live for the higher, more glorious purpose for which you were created. Do not fixate on how irritating or frustrating your family members may be or how they may need to change. Instead, recognize their character as a powerful context in which you can (and are called to) change in order that you may more accurately reflect Him (Romans 8:28-29). What is your primary agenda? That others suit you or that you suit the call of God?

First Christmas Without Him or Her: Christians are exhorted in 1 Thessalonians 4:13, “But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope.” Believers in Jesus Christ will grieve, but their grieving should take on a different shape than the grief of nonbelievers. There is no silver-bullet to relieve the pain of loss, however, keeping Christ at the center of grief can make all the difference. Three recommendations: First, recall the precious gift of the beloved Redeemer in his giving of his own life so that death would be eternally destroyed, then offer thanks for this amazing sacrifice. Second, use the intensity of your own loss to relieve the pain of another through kind words, showing interest, or offering a loving gesture in order to “love God” and “love neighbor” (Matthew 22:37-39). Third, thank God for the good times and the precious memories.

Financial Strain: Be a good steward of the resources God has given you. Resist seasonal and cultural pressures to overspend simply for the sake of pleasing others. Use this year to contemplate the wisdom of Paul who said, “In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need” (Philippians 4:12). Interpret this year as a season in which God’s hand of mercy is sparing you and your family from the vanity of commercialization, and count yourself blessed that you may peer into the deeper meaning of Christmas.

Isolation and Loneliness: If the holidays find you spending more time alone than that to which you are accustomed, consider the following: Purpose in your heart to be focused on loving God and others this Christmas season (Matthew 22:37-39). Plan to be a blessing by doing something kind for a friend, family member, or a neighbor rather than anticipating the dread of how miserable you are going to be this Christmas. Refuse to wallow in self-pity. Schedule a time to visit a museum or take a walk in the park. Be reminded of the Creator and his eternal presence as you gaze upon the beauty of his artistry (Romans 1:19-20). When alone, be comforted by His love and presence. Take time to open the Bible and read the glorious story of redemption He has freely offered you. Worship Him!

Jeremy Lelek is the President of the Association of Biblical Counselors.

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29-Nov-07 10:00 AM

Biblical Counseling and Accountability

noemail@christiancounseling.com — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 22:00:00 GMT

Sin has again reared its evil head among well-known evangelicals, this time in the form of spousal abuse and divorce. Last week, news articles revealed the tragic episode that transpired outside of an Atlanta hotel in which highly revered minister Juanita Bynum was brutally attacked by her husband Bishop Thomas Weeks. Adding to the mayhem, renowned televangelists Randy and Paula White announced they are now engaged in divorce proceedings that will end a marital covenant of 17 years. As these travesties unfold, the Church would do well to remember several key elements when addressing such sin and pain within the members of its own Body:

Churches must form a biblical structure of church government to which all pastors and ministers are subject. Overseers and elders should courageously govern over all matters of unrepentant sin (i.e., spousal abuse and potential divorce) among those within their congregations (I Timothy 3, Matthew 18:17). For the abused woman, such a structure may offer solitude and comfort as men of God (the elders) confront an abusive husband, and provide proper counsel, support, and instruction to her regarding safety and the necessity of godly rebuke towards her spouse (Luke 17:3). Often, abused women are afraid and ashamed to speak up on these matters because the church has failed in its function of offering such refuge. Additionally, the elders must boldly call the abusive husband to repentance, and offer adequate and appropriate discipleship, discipline, and oversight in the process. The same structure is warranted regarding issues of marital conflict and divorce.

Churches must not fear following through with appropriate church discipline when necessary. Church discipline is not a punishment for being bad, it is a God-ordained measure to encourage repentance among the brethren. Failure in this area is a failure to “love your neighbor” (Matthew 19:19). The apostle Paul found rebuking others to be a difficult process (2 Corinthians 7:8), however, his love for his brothers and sisters to see them repentant before God motivated him to overcome this difficulty (2 Corinthians 7:9). Churches over which “larger-than-life” personalities preside (i.e., televangelists) should not be afraid to confront (in love) those individuals with godly rebuke and discipline when necessary. Conversely, such “leaders” should always function under the authority of a governing Church body.

Christians must always remember Christ in their midst. In Matthew 18:20, Jesus says, “For where two or three come together in my name, there I am with them.” This is not a passage referring to a small group gathered during a worship service. In context, it refers to biblical confrontation. Following Jesus’ command to rebuke an unrepentant believer, he reminds his followers, as you move forward in confronting others, remember, “I am there.” Such remembrance should foster reverence before God in words spoken by all.

These latest episodes of human failure and sin should serve as a reminder of the sufficiency that is found in Jesus Christ alone. The seemingly most devout ministers who rise to unfathomable popularity are nothing more than sinners in need of God’s grace. While they hold a profound responsibility regarding their conduct and lives, they are mere mortals dependant upon the mercy and love of God. They need accountability and discipline just as much as any other person who professes faith in Christ. Christians should be urged to put away their icons as found in evangelists and pastors, and fix their eyes upon the only One deserving of adoration and worship, namely Jesus Christ, the spotless Lamb of God!

31-Aug-07 5:00 PM